Today I had moments where I was second guessing my decision to do this. And I’m still having moments where I am wondering if I am making the right call. I have been working on a project at work that I believe will truly help my company. Today it was approved to be implemented. Such great news as I’ve worked hard on it for the last month. But if I am the one chosen to the lead it and it starts at the beginning of the year, it will just be one more punch to the gut for them when I say I’m leaving. But if I don’t take it on, it may not get the right start it needs to be successful. So I think I am going to continue to keep my head down, plan to quit but continue working as if I’m not leaving. I will really be making that decision in 149 days and who knows where I will be at that point.
This process is just so hard. Today was a tug of war between the decision I believe is the right one to make and the pull to stay where I know I’m valued and needed. The money is definitely part of this but it’s just so much more than that. Will I regret staying if I choose to do so? Will I look back and think that I had all the courage, passion and opportunity to take a huge leap of faith but I didn’t because I didn’t want to disappoint the people I work with? How do you know what the right move is?
I’m writing a Pro’s and Con’s list for quitting and the pro’s outnumber the con’s in quantity but the weight of the con’s seems greater. I will share once I’m finished. I can only hope that I gain clarity and I have the courage to make the best decision for myself and my family at the end of all this.
Until tomorrow….
Quitting in Six 