Today was one of those days where I said, on multiple occasions, “I can’t wait to get out of here!” The politics of a corporate office are insane sometimes. I have stayed clear of drama for 5 years but there is one person who has created problems for me on a couple occasions. I’m having a hard time accepting that some people will do things to you that you would NEVER do to someone else. Your peer will take a random conversation that they had with you and completely put a negative spin on it and take it to your bosses. They will borderline make things up and for what reason!? I still can’t figure it out. The will smile in your face, go to lunch with you, and turn around and paint you to be someone you aren’t. It came out of left field and I think that’s why I’m so shocked. I hear things like “Just be careful what you say or how you say it.” And my response is No. I’m not going to walk on verbal eggshells. Nothing I’ve ever said to any of my co-workers has come from a negative or bad place. And I find it funny that there is only one person who has tried to make me look like someone I absolutely am not. I’m an open book, I say things that I mean, I care about people’s feelings and I am never mean to anyone at work. So for something I say to be spun so drastically is infuriating.
About a month ago I started feeling like work wasn’t enough for me. I started to think about the things that are really important to me in a work environment and what I am good at. I’ve been in my current position for 2.5 years and it’s been a successful run. I am really good with people. I love to teach and coach and that’s where I want to be. There is also an issue in our office with our trainees not being ready to handle our work after the 30 day training they go through. The work is difficult and they need more than the basic training. We have a high turn-over, we don’t have the qualified candidates needed for the next level positions and our internal leadership pool is kind of empty. So I put together a proposal on how to fix that. I basically created a position for myself which would help solve the issues that my office faces. I have been working on this idea, the specific details, getting buy in from my peers, asking for opinions and building the entire program for a month. It was pitched to our higher ups yesterday and they have decided to implement it which is great! But when my boss sat down to discuss it with me, he let me know that another manager found out about it and wants to throw their name in for consideration for the position. And in order to be fair we have to have you both pitch your ideas and we’ll make a choice. Fair? That’s odd since it doesn’t seem “fair” that I have put in this amount of work, got you to see that the need is there even though so many have been against it, worked me a** off by putting pen to paper so the other higher ups could see the vision clearly. For sure, taking this other person into consideration when she just decides to throw her name out there is definitely fair. And guess who that manager is… Yup, the same one I talked about above. Coincidence? I’ve been trying to convince myself that it is, but how could it be? I have discussed some of this with other peers and the responses are all the same… “Welcome to ladder climbing.” “You have to learn to the play the game.” “This is only the beginning.” One comment stuck out to me on a different level. “This is just practice for what’s to come. You have to learn and understand the politics involved and play the game with the rules already set in place because you can’t re-create the rules. They have existed for too long.” And it got me thinking. I don’t want to play games. I don’t give a shit about these office politics. My intentions are to be part of the solution to a problem. Not to defend myself, explain myself and dodge bullets that are about to be shot my way by people who are envious of someone taking initiative that is being recognized. I just want to stand in the middle of my office and yell “I don’t give a shit about you hater ass bi*****!” But that would definitely be frowned upon.
So at this point, my plan is to get this new role, implement a program and a new team that I know will help this company, work out the kinks, see that it has a successful start and then peace the f*** out. I want this to be the last thing I give to this company, a thank you for years of success and guidance. I want my boss to understand that he has been an amazing role model. I have loved working for him. He has inspired me and taught me about business and life. But this just isn’t what I want anymore. This is my final contribution and it’s a good one. It will be hard and when I put in my two weeks, everyone will talk about the fact that I started this and decided to leave. People will assume I’ve given up. They will say it was too difficult. And I’m sure there will be 10 other rumors that generate. But then, maybe they’ll read this and they’ll understand that this girl just doesn’t want to continue to stay in a place that doesn’t fulfill her. A place where she has to watch what she says, play the “game,” and sit back while people create drama out of nothing. She no longer has the desire or the need to stay in a place that does not bring her joy. So, she simply won’t.
No matter what is said, I know this wasn’t a rash decision. A lot of thought went into this move. I acted rationally and my emotions will not be the reason I move to something new. I will give myself 6 months to see where this all goes and what I feel about life at the end of it. I hope that my intentions are seen for what they truly are. I care about the people I work with. I care about the development of those coming up behind me. I care about the success of a company that was extremely good to me. And that is it.
Quitting in Six 